What is the F.A. to Get People to do what You Want?
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by: GabrielAngelo
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Previously, I talked about "the Pickup Artist loophole" and briefly introduced you with the FA, Friendly Assertiveness. Now I'm going to expand on it so you will know how to get almost people to do whatever you ask in a friendly way, by being friendly assertive I like to call it, instead of dominantly aggressive. Example: If somebody were to tell you... A.) in a dominantly aggressive manner "Give me that water!" or B.) "Could you give me that water please?" in a friendly yet assertive manner (Or heck even "Could you please go across the room to get me a water?") ...which one are you more likely to give the water to if you had to decide? More likely Choice B because you didn't feel aggressively threatened over losing dominance as in Choice A; besides it's awkward to be rude to somebody who is friendly or else you would be perceived as an @$$hole and everybody around you would return you the same rudeness as well and withdraw from you, while in choice A you would have reacted with defiance and that would have been ok by them being dominantly aggressive and pushy to you. You can't go wrong being friendly. In this case with them being friendly, they eventually get what they ask, which is the water. Here's one example from my life: I was once working behind the bar, and there were 2 bartenders I had to deal with. One of the bartenders had this self-righteous mannerism that he could just tell me what to do, "Bring me the bottle over there!" I didn't care if he had been bartending in Europe for over a decade and he was the creme de la creme, I was always like,"Who the hell do you think you are?" The other bartender was friendly assertive, being a dominant force indirectly I like to describe it, "Hey how about you bring me the bottle?" The second bartender wanted me to do a task but at the same time still made me feel like they were relyin on me, so I was more willing to comply with the request. The second bartender could even request me to throw out the trash all the way down to the basement dumpster and then squeeze a case of lime juice, and I still complied to him more than the other bartender, even though it was more insane amount of work. Seems weird, isn't it? Calling these aggressive behaviors wouldn't be far from the truth, but people do not like to be forced to do something, especially feel taken advantage of. What I like to say is, get the outcome you want by making them think and feel they are in control...similar to a king-and-peasant relationship, which ironically, you're the peasant approaching the other person, this mighty respected king, for a help. If they can't deliver it, they will let you down as your mighty high-regard king, and somebody with that title, don't want to let you down. A lot of great natural leaders possess this quality of calm friendly assertiveness that gets people to willingly follow them and at the same time make each individual feels special and needed, not thearrogant aggressiveness need to feel dominant like a dictator...as said before nobody like to be told what to do and taken advantage of. And combine that with being friendly assertive and giving value to what they lack. When you lead with friendly assertiveness in conjunction with giving value to others to what they lack, making them feel important, people will magnetically show up into your life and be willing to follow you to end of the world, and you really don't have to do anything.
Sobre o Autor
Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your "social skills" to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women...but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional. For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.
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